Saturday, June 7, 2014

hamster in a wheel

I remember occasions 2-1/2 years ago, 2 years ago, 18 months ago, etc arriving at the Conclusion that all my musical effort was for nought, that I was sorely lacking in so many basic areas that what I needed was to start over again from scratch. One time this prompted me to change teachers, but mostly it involved buying a book or two or three. So I have books. I have etudes and exercises and scale books. Old ones, newer ones, ones written for kids. All of them were supposed to Turn Things Around. Some really helped, but none of them ever managed to set free the really good violist that I was sure was lurking inside me. And it lurks still, so here I am again, hating every sound I make, doubting so much of what I've done the past 5.x years, and hoping that 2 more Sevciks added to my collection will do the trick.

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