This morning I did a "400s" work out for the third week in a row, only this time I actually timed my quarters. They were pathetic, but I did all four of them, and the last one was fastest. The rest of the run was slow as molasses, but I was happy to have done a workout, even a wimpy one.
Afterward, I was dismayed to realize I couldn't eat my breakfast. After a couple of bites of oatmeal, my stomach said "that's it, stop now" so the dog got some oatmeal in her bowl. This happened some this past fall and winter when I was really depressed, but I'm not depressed now. I am, however, a little worried about my physical health. My appetite comes and goes, my feet (and now hands) cramp, I have trouble staying on my feet for much more than an hour. And yet I can still run, weird.
Practice today was a grand experiment in a couple of ways. First off, I had a lot I wanted to get to, so time management was one experiment. Second was practicing fast stuff fast, and without stopping, and trying to correct things on the fly, and at speed. There was a lot of spectacular crash+burn and I was very self-conscious at first (even alone in the room where I practice) but after a little bit it just got funny, and then fun. And to my surprise, the tempo was a lot more manageable than I thought it would be, and after a few flameouts it felt more manageable still. When my regular teacher has said of some fast piece, "kids love to play that because it's fast" I could never understand it - why would anyone think that making mistakes would be fun? Now I know.