Monday, June 16, 2014

put away the adult ears

Tonight was my 3rd viola lesson with Mr Summer Teacher. I had worked hard on stuff all week, and had even played the bit of Bach *perfectly* (meaning "to my satisfaction") from memory not just once, but several times, like maybe 3 or 4 times (my husband can vouch for this because every time I did it I ran into whatever room he was in to tell him). But tonight I was an airhead. I would look at the music, acknowledge the notes, and then play something totally unrelated. I would worry about losing my ability to read, which would cause me to - you guessed it - lose my ability to read. And yet Mr Summer Teacher conducted the lesson as though I were a normal person who is able to play fast and in tune and with feeling and dynamics and accents and what have you. I kept thinking "what are you doing, I can't play that fast, I can't do what you're asking" but he kept asking and I kept trying. I won't say that I magically "got it" (I didn't) but there is something to be said for bashing through while putting your adult ears away and allowing yourself to make mistakes. If I continue to play everything very carefully and just hope that improvement will happen organically, I'll die waiting.

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