This week some things have been really good and just thinking about them make me happy:
- work: short week this week, boss is on vacation, then a week off afterward. A whole week off. The only time I ever get weeks off is in between jobs. I plan to run a lot, play a lot, sleep a lot.
- Running mileage continues to increase. I am still not fast at all but I have been sticking to my no-basis-in-anything plan whereby I: increase mileage ever so slightly for 3 or 4 weeks, then cut back a week; do some kind of speedwork (however slow) once a week; let my long run constitute about 25% of total weekly mileage; take a day off every 8 9 10...days. I'm now safely in the mid-40s per week, will get to 50s soon. I even found myself considering a local marathon or semi-local half next winter. Yahoo.
- I have made the acquaintance of some people who will be at camp, including a very good violist. There is a plan to work on a viola quartet (for fun) and I think that the viola 4 part is doable maybe, so I'm going to try it.
- Someone I had lost touch with for a while accepted my facebook friend request, after more than a year. I don't know why this makes me so happy, but it does. Despite the fact that we fell out of touch, I do like her. We are close in age. I think she is interesting. Facebook provides a way to let people get to know me without much risk on either side. I am happy she has taken that risk.
On the other hand:
- I still don't feel good physically. a worrisome swollen lymph node has disappeared, and the medianoche charley horses have mostly subsided, but my feet/ankles swell, I have trouble staying on my feet for more than a few minutes, I feel sluggish and fat, my hair is falling out. Sometimes I feel short of breath. Sometimes I feel clumsy and unsteady on my feet. I worry that my body is failing me.
- On a more mundane topic: I really don't feel ready for tomorrow's lesson. I know I say that a lot, but this time it's really true (and I know I say that a lot). For every little inch of improvement there's a meter of new (or old) problems. I let go of my fear of messing up so that I could allow myself to play faster, but now I sound like a train wreck. Intonation, tone, dynamics all fall by the wayside and all that's left is the ability to move the bow back and forth somewhat faster. And I have not been able to memorize the piece mr summer teacher asked me to memorize. In a way this is worse than usual, because mr summer teacher seems to expect me to accomplish something, or at least that's the impression I get from the "homework" he assigns. Although mr regular teacher is more openly critical, he never expected much (improvement, anyway) from me at all.