ugh, last night my hands didn't work, my brain was dysfunctional. It was one of those nights where my sightreading ability dwindled to nothing, and I felt every bit the fumbling adult oaf I can be.
As a sort of side-project, I have been going back through all the Kayser etudes I did last year and this year, to see if I they come any easier; last night after multiple attempts at a very easy one (I know it so well I could sing it), I realized I'd become so tense that even my right hand hurt. Ugh! Why are there days like this?
It bothers me so much when my reading ability falters, because then the "problem" becomes mental as well as physical. I know I'm an adult. I know I'm middle aged and my body, though in fairly good shape, will fail. It has undoubtedly started failing already. I cannot stand the thought of my mind failing.