Friday, July 4, 2014


running: this week I will have 50 miles, but I can't say it's been enjoyable. I suspect that progesterone, and not the summer heat, is the cause. Mentally running is much easier to deal with (no racing, unpleasant depressed thoughts) but physically I feel like I'm huffing and puffing my way through 10-minute miles, and my legs feel like jello. I read tonight that progesterone can increase respiration during exercise, which could explain the winded feeling I get. Or not. I like some of the effects of this medicine - I sleep better, and seem to have fewer charley horses, and my ankles no longer look like balloons. But the jury is still out. I suppose it's not all that important if I never run fast again. Running is better than not running, and wanting to stay alive is better than not wanting to.

I'd planned to use this vacation week to gorge on practicing. Some things I have gorged on, and others just raise my gorge. I have gotten much more interested in non-piece stuff, probably because the lessons are all about pieces, and they are nerve-wracking to perform. This one piece seems to get worse and worse despite my efforts. My fingers get stuck. I have it memorized, but if I look at the music I screw up. On youtube there are versions of people playing this at 180 or so. One little 10yo plays it very nicely at 100. I am plodding along at 70, oh my, and for that I have to have the metronome clicking away softly so I don't have to think about rhythm - it's just there.

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