Must be Saturday.
I started a new job this week. Yes, the third job this year, and yes, I do feel a bit like a loser but some things just can't be helped. I left one job for another that turned out to be a big mistake, and I was lucky enough to have this job fall into my lap. May it be my last job for a long while, maybe forever. No point in obsessing over what it all could mean.
The new job has slightly different (i.e., earlier) hours and so I've been getting up earlier in my attempt to keep cramming everything into every day. This has me discombobulated and (mostly) too tired to write anything, hence the dearth of posts.
I think it will get better. I did run every single mile I'd planned, and I got a few long-overdue things done. And today, finally, I had a decent practice. Non-exhausted, non-impatient, non-let's-think-about-the-next-thing-I-have-to-do-or-the-thing-I-just-did. My ability to read, play expressively, stay in tune, vibrate, etc may come and go, but I noticed today that I can (and do) use a lot more bow than I used to, mainly because I'm no longer afraid of running out of bow. I used to get 4 or 5 inches from either end and just panic, and let the bow slow way down until the sound turned into a scratch. Seems to happen much less these days.