It was bound to happen - a lesson like in the bad old days. It wasn't that bad, and I did not sulk or pout, but my teacher came as close as he's been lately to making Pronouncements about my playing based on my shortcomings, the biggest being age. "Cut me a break," I wanted to whine. "If you'd spent the week worrying about your health, your practice would probably suffer too." But I didn't say that, just accepted it when he said that I need to play faster, and that the Hummel may just have to remain a "study piece", and when he picked apart everything I did, and when he made some (unsolicited) remark about not knowing if I ever will get any better, but at least I can do a lot of things I didn't used to be able to do.
Doggone it. Right before the lesson I was playing something I struggled mightily with last year. Today I was playing it from memory, with good intonation and dare-I-say a "singing" tone. Oh, I was so happy and even a little proud. But did I play that way at the lesson? No sirreee bob. I played like an oaf and got the pained smile and oh-well that that deserves.
I shouldn't take this so hard. I'm taking it harder than it was meant. Really, I need to cut it out unless I want another year like the last one, and I don't.