It seems this latest moodiness was indeed hormonal. Ugh. I say I hate this (approaching menopause without the balm of hormone replacement therapy), but I hate even more what's in store - 5 years of hormone-suppressing drug, instant chemical menopause, I become a tottering confused little old lady overnight. I know this is all for my own good, and when I'm 60 or so it will seem silly and insignificant, but: bleh.
Due to all the focus on Me and My Moods, I pretty much missed my husband's birthday. He is as reticent as I, but even so, he has been here and solid so far: willing to accept whatever choice I made about surgery; patiently telling me No when I wonder aloud about disobeying my doctor or (gasp) rejecting treatment altogether; encouraging me to slow down or take xanax or do whatever I need to do to keep my shit together. Etc. And his birthday was yesterday and I didn't get him a present. I wished him a happy birthday, and we went out to dinner tonight, but I didn't take any time to come up with a gift or anything. Both our birthdays are in November, and our anniversary is in December, and there's xmas too, so sometimes we combine it all into one big Joyous Stretch of Holiday Cheer. So there is still time :-)
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Some things I want to write about, not for anyone's sake but just so I won't forget:
some friends adopting a baby
memorial service for a friend
camp, and how great it was
This weekend I:
- ran all the miles I said I would
- had a pretty good viola lesson
- changed strings
- did a lot of laundry
- practiced a lot
But I did not do a lot of other things I intended to do, like catch up on email, put in some extra time at work, clean up my home office, get a haircut. So they move to the top of this coming week's list.