Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The shit keeps hitting the fan.

I had the worst rehearsal I can remember this evening. Quartet rehearsal went ok, even better than ok. But orchestra was a different story. I was the only violist, and the pieces were tricky, and I they have often been the last thing I practice (or first thing I neglect to practice) after drills/scales.etudes/ recital pieces I will never play/string quartet for our on again/off again ensemble. I sucked, and was just mortified, and then depressed. I wanted to crawl under a rock. I told the director I was overwhelmed and something would have to give, and it would probably be orchestra, and he seemed ok with it, so I guess it's not just my perception - I am pretty bad, worse than the people who don't even practice. After a few minutes he suggested putting off a decision for a day or two. Maybe things will seem different then, but I doubt it.

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