Monday, May 29, 2017

tomorrow is another day.

A week has flown by since...well, since a week ago, when the last of my obligations were done and I could spend time starting on the new obligations. Namely, the four extremely lovely and difficult pieces I have to learn for camp in seven or eight weeks. This music is hard. Did I mention it's hard? I don't have the first idea how to go about learning the pieces. I've spent time listening to them so I know how they go. I have a pretty good idea of the exposed/difficult bits, and there are many - so many that if I decided to focus on just one each day, I wouldn't come back around until the following week. I don't even know if it's a good idea to focus on just one piece each day because what if I forget during the intervening three days? And what about integrating those hard bits into the whole? Someone on suggests playing through so slowly you can hardly stand it; this is supposed to get the music in your fingers and keep you from learning bad habits.One night last week I stretched a 10-minute piece into almost 20. It was neither easy nor all that fun.

Whole thing, bits and pieces, extracurricular drills...I don't know what to do, really. Today I had my last lesson with the teacher who goes away for the summer. He gave me a cliff-notes version of the Brahms which will be very helpful, but after a night of fruitless practice I realize there were more questions I should have asked. Meanwhile I fight with my viola and spend 30+ minutes on two bars. I have waking anxiety dreams about not being prepared. My teacher says I should try to enjoy this (I think he means both camp and the prep for it), and he's right, but yowza. I sound so bad right now, and I can't seem to get organized.

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